How To Overcome Self Doubt With Mario Lanzarotti
Many people are so excited to give entrepreneurship a try. That’s until they realize it’s harder than it seems. What’s holding them back? Self-doubt is definitely a big one on the list. It is so common that people even have slightly more dramatic name for it – imposter syndrome. Freedom Architect Mario Lanzarotti has a solution.
Joining Mitch Russo on the show, he explains how his proprietary set of tools and processes has helped CEOs, entrepreneurs, Olympians, and other high-achievers overcome self-doubt, once and for all. Listen in and learn how we can look at everything, including ourselves, from an abundance mindset and use the superpowers we have to do what we were put in this world to do.
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How To Overcome Self Doubt With Mario Lanzarotti
In this episode, I have something special for all my coaches in the audience. Most of you know I’ve been a coach for many years. I have been wasting time trying to do admin for my sessions because I feel as if you’re doing it at your peak time during the day when you should be using that incredible brain to focus on your clients instead of doing $10 an hour admin work.
I decided to get some coaching software and nothing out there was easy to learn, inexpensive or full performance. I decided to do what all great entrepreneurs should do. When you come across a problem that has not been solved, I decide to solve it. I hired a team, wrote a spec, built a template and coded for two years with this team to create Clientfolio. What is Clientfolio? It’s a combination of everything you need to run a session, including my proprietary tools for goal tracking and accountability, all built-in, unlimited clients and a very low price. All you got to do is go to Clientfol.io. Check it out for yourself. It was just $1.
Onto my guest and his incredible story. As with you and I, my guest entered entrepreneurship to help change his life and find a better way to grow and prosper, but he found out that it’s harder than it seems. With some extreme determination and persistence, he discovered what was holding him back and unlocked hidden elements of his background and psyche that were trying to halt his progress. When this series of breakthroughs occurred, he discovered that he was not the only one to have struggled.
It turns out that when he did this and figured this out, others noticed and asked for his help. He decided to create a system to solve the greatest mental block of all, self-doubt. Using a proprietary set of tools and processes, he’s helped CEOs, high-powered entrepreneurs and even Olympians fix self-doubt once and for all. He’s here to show us how. Welcome, Mario Lanzarotti, to the show.
Mitch, thank you so much for having me on the show. It is an honor and a plum pleasing pleasure, as one of my mentors always says. I’m excited to dive into this conversation with you.
Readers should know and have fair full disclosure. Mario and I have been friends for some time. Mario graduated from my accelerator program. He was my client and made such incredible progress. I’m so proud of the work he’s doing and his contribution to the world. Mario, it’s a pleasure to have you. Tell us how this all got started for you.
Thank you, Mitch. I want to say that working with you has been an absolute blessing and a revelation. I look forward to doing more of that with you. I can only recommend whoever is reading to give it a go if you feel called to work with Mitch. My journey was quite a turbulent one. After I graduated high school, I went down the path of trying to become a pilot. I was accepted into the flight academy in Germany, Lufthansa.
I then became mentally depressed, suffered from chronic back pain and suicidal thoughts, and hit rock bottom because I was following a career path that wasn’t uniquely mine. I was following the should voice and I’ll get into that in this show because a lot of business owners and entrepreneurs are measuring their life through their should voice.
I did that for a long time, which is the conditioned voice of all the people you have experienced. While there’s a lot of wisdom in that, there’s also a lot of misguidances that are outdated and stop business owners from their next evolution. That path opened up the world of mindset to me. Later on, I went to New York, where I started my first business with my cofounder Nick, who was all in a sundry and eCommerce custom shoe brand. That was the first time that everything I had learned from the books, podcasts, and seminars was tested. I had to show up. That’s when the fun begins.
Your story is quite common. Everybody reading this is already an entrepreneur. Probably many are already business owners. I wanted you to speak with my community because every one of us, I don’t care who you are, whether you’re Oprah Winfrey or Tony Robbins, everybody at some point has experienced this feeling of, “Maybe I’m just not good enough.”Instead of comparing yourself to anybody else, simply compare yourself to yourself a year ago. Click To Tweet
There’s another name that has come into marketing called imposter syndrome, which is a little bit more dramatic than what most people expect. When they experience it, it’s this worry of, “Maybe I can’t do this. I should think of something else. I tried it once for five minutes. It didn’t work. Therefore, I shouldn’t do it at all.” These are the typical things that many entrepreneurs go through. Why don’t you give us an idea of where you start first, trying to figure out exactly what the issue is?
When it comes to self-doubt, one of the first things I like to look at is to become clear and aware of the impact that self-doubt is having on your life. Brightly as you say, a lot of people are aware, “I have self-doubt,” but they’re not necessarily aware of what that is causing. They’re like, “Shrug it off. I’ll deal with this later. I don’t have time for this.”
I find that self-doubt impacts life in two ways. It either stops you from moving forward from discovering the solutions, resources, people and insights that will help you reach the next level in your business and personal life. What I find much more dramatic is it prevents you from enjoying what you’re doing. That is something that I’ve seen in myself, which is how I got to this idea of focusing on freedom.
It is something that sucks the joy out of what you’re doing, especially as business owners, where the people who are constantly performing and going forward always and usually tend to be quite hard on ourselves. It is the self-doubt that then says, “Have you done enough today? What if you’re not putting in enough work? Should you be relaxing now? You could be squeezing in another hour or listening to a podcast instead of watching a movie.” That voice stops you from being present with the life that you created.
One of the fates that I see a lot of entrepreneurs and business owners go through and one of the primary values that they started with is freedom. You look at your life and you’re like, “I’m constantly stressed, rushed and worried about finances and being able to take care of my family.” Does that look like freedom to you? To me, that’s another rabbit hole to fall into. Self-doubt requires you to take a look within. First, you look, “What is the impact that this is making on my life?” You then go within. One of the first places I start is by asking people, “What about your past experiences and events? Do you look back to a new thing to yourself, ‘I could’ve or should’ve done that differently?'”
Maybe even 10 times out of 10, people start opening up, “That one time I started that business deal. I invested six figures and was so full of hopes. I didn’t see that the guy was not showing up in integrity. He was making me weak promises, but I didn’t look at that. I didn’t see the red flags. I should have known that.” That tells me already that you have an attachment to how things happened in the past, which is causing you to doubt yourself.
When it comes to doubt, I believe in abundance. It means enough for readers who are not yet familiar with what abundance means. There is plenty of everything. Nothing will ever run out, including yourself. We come into this world whole and complete. If you look at children, I’m sure you see this all the time. Children will have no problem going naked onto a table, dancing in the most joyful, cheerful way in front of a bunch of strangers.
Children have this intuitive sense of free expression within themselves. They’ll just go for it. Sometimes that may not be the healthiest way because you put your hand onto a hot stove, get burned and the parent comes, “Be careful. Don’t do that again.” What I’m seeing is that as children grow up and go through life, something happens. At some point, an event takes place. That leaves a psychological scar. At that moment, you go from, “I am whole and complete,” to, “I am broken. Something is wrong with me because of what happened.”
The child develops a coping mechanism to deal with the pain. That’s where a lot of the high achiever patterns are born. For me, it was, “You’ve been humiliated and shamed. You’re going to become the best and prove it to everyone.” That’s the story of my life. That’s where the doubt originates. What I do with business owners is we go back to these events. It’s usually not just one event. It’s a multitude of events. We take a look at what you have not yet forgiven.
This is a perfect setup. I want to go back to something you said that is important. A lot of people miss this. Most of the experience that you described is, “Why am I watching a movie when I could be listening to a podcast? Why do I feel good relaxing when I could probably run another session and earn some more money?” I believe a lot of this comes from this lack of feeling abundance. There are other programs and everybody will show you stuff, but it’s a very simple thing. You don’t need a program to make the switch in your mind that says, “I am abundant. I am enough. I have everything I need.”
When you look at Facebook and see these guys with their girls and cars, you look down at yourself and see a little bit of a potbelly and a balding head, your girlfriend’s not as pretty as the one on Facebook, which is possibly a hired model and the car, which is probably in the parking lot of the showroom or rented. This is designed to make you feel less about who you are and what you have and want more of what they have. That’s how they sell. That’s a terrible way to sell because nobody will ever be happy that way.
I came up with a very simple thought. It’s nothing as dramatic as what you’ve developed. The simple thought is this. Instead of comparing yourself to anybody else, simply compare yourself to yourself a year ago. “Am I better off than I was a year ago? Am I more educated? Is my business better run? Is my life where I want it now more so than it was a year ago?” Not that it’s done because we’re never done in life. That’s what life’s about. That was a bit of freedom during that period where you were talking about it. It rang a bell and struck home for me when you talked about the fact that sometimes we can’t enjoy our leisure time.Abundance is not something that we create. Abundance is not something that we achieve. Abundance is a reality we tap into. Click To Tweet
Another thing when it comes to self-doubt is awareness. Abundance is not something that we create or achieve. Abundance is a reality we tap into. This is very important. For high achievers, that’s difficult to accept because their whole sense of recognition, gaining of pleasure internally and wiring is all based on, “I do X, then I feel Y.” You always go, “Yehey.” When you tell someone, “You don’t need to do that,” without feeling, “I don’t want that.” This is where the edge is for most high achievers. The edge is in allowing. The edge isn’t feeling. The edge is slowing down because they’re like, “I can’t do that.”
When you bring in awareness, it’s exactly what you did. You look back and you’re like, “Where was I a year ago?” You then look at it like, “I’ve done all of that? I have overcome any challenge that has been presented to me.” What I mean by that is you’re still alive and have done it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t, but you’re still there. One of the things that I do with high achievers is to help them cultivate a greater sense of awareness of what’s already there. The more you do that, what you appreciate will accumulate.
The more you look within and celebrate where you are and who you are, the more of that comes into your life. For a lot of people, it’s difficult to get there because they’re like, “If I celebrate myself for what I’ve done, does that mean I’ll settle? Does that mean I’ll kill my drive?” I’m like, “No, because identity drives behavior.” Who you believe you are will naturally lead to the behavior to get more of who you are. If you believe you’re an absolute superstar, winner and successful person, you can’t help yourself but create more of that.
What’s interesting is I had a discovery years ago when I looked at my life, where I was and said, “I have enough. I am enough. I don’t need anything more. I’m done chasing.” When I made that decision, everything doubled. By allowing myself to feel the abundance of what I have done, achieved, acquired and become, I achieved, acquired and became more. Not because I tried harder. It’s the opposite. I attracted it instead of trying to work for it. That was the big difference for me.
It’s beautiful to know from someone like you because I see a lot of people in the self-development and personal growth industry trying to sell you abundance using scarcity techniques. The wording is very important when it comes to that because language creates your reality and, with that, the emotions you experience. If you continuously say, “I need more. I need to have this,” you are tapping into a world of scarcity. In the world of abundance, you need nothing because you already have it all.
If it does come up, it will show up as opposed to you pulling it in. This is what you’re talking about. I want to elevate this a little bit because what you’re talking about here is called the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction is not something that some new ager invented in 2021. This is universal and a part of human existence. It’s been around since the beginning of time.
King Solomon, many ages ago, was supposed to be the master of the Law of Abundance. He laid out the steps that he took to become who he was. The Law of Attraction is also taught by a woman you may know. Her name is Esther Hicks. She channels an entity known as Abraham. Since 1991, I’ve listened to Abraham every single day of my life.
The reason is that I love it. I don’t look to get something from it. It just makes me feel good. I don’t write down notes, take instructions and do this next or something. What if I told you that it might not even be the words that affect me? Maybe it’s the energy of her presence or their presence through her coming through this medium called the internet into my life that I feel that feeling.
Law of Attraction doesn’t work for everybody because of what you have mastered or the lack of what you have mastered. Law of Attraction says that if you simply hold the state of allowance and abundance, more abundance will find you. As you know, we as a society, group of entrepreneurs and hard-charging supercharged business leaders don’t allow anything. If we don’t make it happen, it doesn’t happen as far as we’re concerned. How do you fix this?
That taps right into another point that I want to bring in here. There are two monumental blocks that I see for high achievers and entrepreneurs who struggle with self-doubt. One is looking back into the past and keep blaming yourself for thinking you could’ve or should’ve done something different. That’s number one. Number two is one of the biggest challenges humanity faces and that is loneliness. There’s nothing that sparks more self-doubt than loneliness. Some of your readers might be like, “What do you mean? I’m not lonely. I have great friends and a beautiful family. I’ve got a team.” How often do you share your doubts and fears openly without trying to fix them as you’re sharing them?
Here’s the difference between being honest and being authentic. Honest looks something like this, “I’m stressed at the moment. I have so much going on in my life. It’s a lot that I’m dealing with.” Authentic is, “I’m feeling a lot of stress in my life at the moment. I’m feeling lonely because I often tell myself that if people find out how much I doubt myself and how much I have fears, they would not like me and look up to me anymore.” That’s where the loneliness sits. When you’re lonely, it’s that part of yourself that some people refer to it as the inner child. You’re saying no because if I share you, people will think of me in ways that I want to be thought about. You’re doing this. You’re sending it into the black corner.
That part of you will go, “There must be something wrong with me. I guess I’m not good and loved enough.” That’s where the doubt comes from. Have a group of people that you trust. I highly recommend doing this in circles of people that are ideally trained. If not, they’re very close to your heart because vulnerability is a delicate subject. In 2022, I’m in Tulum, Mexico. I’ve started a men’s group for that because I know my patterns. I tend to avoid these authentic conversations because of the condition that I still have.You can never be off the path because everywhere you are is the path, and you can never be behind because you're exactly where you are right now. Click To Tweet
What I did is I designed an environment where I can’t run away because I’m one of the cofounders, so I’m showing up as a leader. For me, that is non-negotiable. I will show up whatever it takes. Showing up means opening my heart and the number of times that I’ve shared my doubts out loud. Afterward, it was gone. I felt on top of the world doing that. Not listing up my achievements, becoming better, getting up early and making more money were transformational.
I’m going to throw out a challenge to you. The challenge is very simple. You’re coming to Florida. You might be living here, for that matter. If you’re going to be in the area that I’m in, why don’t we start that men’s group up here, you and I? Think about it.
I will sit with that. Men’s group is a powerful tool. Not just for men, because women, you will say thank you to the men that do the men’s work because they won’t project that stuff onto you anymore.
You sit with that. If it makes sense and feels right to you, I’m open to doing it because I need that group and support as well. It would be great to have that. We can talk about that further. We have shared a lot about the understanding of this issue. We’ve shared a little bit about your dark passenger where you place your self-doubt. The thing that I have found is that place has immense power because it goes unanalyzed. In other words, once you put your stuff in the caboose back there, it has an influence on you in a way that you don’t even realize.
It’s like what happens under trauma. Under trauma, when something happens in your life, it bypasses your ability to unpack it and sort it out. It goes in whole with all of the emotions and sensory information. Later, it’s there to “protect you from danger in the future.” This is very important because all that’s in there protecting you is stealing your mental capacity from you. If you can create a system by which you can unpack that dark passenger, more importantly, not recreate it, then you have the ability to unleash immense power in any individual.
That’s why the work that I do with my clients is based on healing. If I were to use the word methodology healing, most entrepreneurs that come to me would say, “I don’t need that. Tell me how I can make more money. How can I grow my business? How can I be more focused? How can I save time and energy?” They don’t want to talk about healing. I’ll meet them where they’re at, but the healing comes in the mindset shift.
The mindset shifts that I use are mostly based on acceptance. When people hear acceptance, especially high achievers, they go like, “You’re telling me I’m just supposed to accept this and be fine with it?” Acceptance means acknowledging reality because here’s the thing. Most people do not live in reality. Most people live in their illusion of reality. They live in the should, could, could have been, should have been and would have been worlds. They don’t live in the is world.
The is world looks like this. There are the ups and the downs. In the illusion, people think, “Life is supposed to be like this. If I am anywhere other than this perfectly straight line, my life is wrong. I’m stuck, off the path and behind.” All three of those are lies. You can never be stuck because you’re exactly where you are. You can never be off the path because everywhere you are is the path. You can never be behind because you’re where you are now. Those are language patterns that create the illusion that you’re somehow doing something wrong and there’s bad happening.
If you accept that and say, “I accept the situation as it is. I will no longer fight against it,” fighting means I make it wrong and I will say, “It is what it is. I accept it.” I can look at, “How do I like to have it?” Instead of saying, “This is wrong.” It’s the Law of Attraction. What you resist will persist. The mind doesn’t know yes or no. The mind knows, “Mitch is focusing on that thing a lot. It must be important. Let’s make it bigger.”
Before we go on, I feel as if we’ve laid an incredible foundation. You expose to us some of your pathways, how you got to where you are, what it is you discovered, which is amazing and even the first steps realizing where you’re truly at, as opposed to being in that imaginary place where you would like to think you are. What is the next step here? How do I fix this?
You made it very easy for me because you used the word that I was looking for. This is the kind of approach that a lot of us have. I used to have this for so long. It’s like, “How do I fix this?” That in itself is a solution because there’s nothing to fix. When you come with the approach of, “I got to fix this,” you’re saying, “This is wrong. I shouldn’t have this.” It means you have an underlying approach that says, “Let me fight this thing.” This is the reason why so many people struggle to consistently move beyond their comfort zone because comfort zone means psychological safety.
Outside of comfort zone means psychological suicide. Your brain goes, “Alert, danger.” If you then go with the intention of, “Push through. Fix this. Go for it,” you have this language that further infuses a level of fear in yourself. You are activating the fight or flight, which means on a mental level, your brain will go, “Let me look for the things we’ve always done because they are safe and in my control,” which are your old patterns. You tap back into it and that’s how people sabotage their success and have these cycles where they work themselves to exhaustion, burn out, pause and do that again.To transform is to access a level of mindset that allows you to see the world from a perspective of wholeness, to see yourself as a vital element of that world. That just changes everything. It changes your relationships with yourself… Click To Tweet
The first thing is to realize in your language patterns to look, “Where do I create resistance? That shouldn’t be the case. I don’t want this. I should fix this and get over this stuff.” Those are the patterns of, “There’s an internal battle happening inside of me.” Move that to acceptance. This is the example that I gave, “I’m not off the path. I’m on the path and taking my time to move to find the solutions that will help me move forward.” Create a state of inner peace and then move forward, not in a state of inner stress and then swim to the shore with your last breath and then make it, “What’s next?”
First of all, tell us a little bit about what your program is. What’s it called? What do you do?
It’s called Mindset Mastery. In the program, I help entrepreneurs and business owners essentially adopt the mindset that allows them to become unstoppable, where we boost confidence, increase your ability to stay focused and identify what it is that you truly want to do. Even for business owners, I have several clients that I started with that set up their goals and vision. Halfway through that, they’re like, “Mario, it’s not what I want to do. What I want to do is this.” We figure that out. “What is the mission that you are leading?” As we do all of that, we’ve removed the obstacles that are in the way, which are fear and self-doubt. Most importantly, and this is to crack your way through all this, is I help you transform your relationship with self-doubt.
There is this relationship we have with our shadow self. This is the part that haunts us and makes us miserable without us even knowing it’s there. Unfortunately, people medicate to fix this when it’s as simple as recognizing it and you take them through this process. It sounds amazing. If people were interested in what you do, where would they go?
One of the places that I like to invite people to is my Instagram social media account because I’m quite active there. I post a lot of stuff and share my insights and the things that I do. If you’re not on Instagram, LinkedIn works equally fine. You can find me there as well. I have a website, MarioLanzarotti.com, where you will learn more about what I do. There’s also the little gift that we have, which I’m going to reveal a bit later.
I’m sure you’ve heard me go through this before with others. On this show, what we’d like to do is dive a little bit deeper into our guest’s personalities by asking a couple of questions. Some call them stupid and silly questions. I call them revealing questions. The reason I do is that so far, with over 300 interviews, there are people who’ve said the same answer but never for the same reason. Let’s get to it and see who you come up with. Here’s the question. Who in all of space and time, that means past, future, present, fiction, real and interplanetary, would you like to have one hour to enjoy a walk in the park, a quick lunch or an intense conversation?
That answer shifted a lot throughout my life. Where I am now, I would say that person will be Jesus Christ because I would want to know what did you do that allowed you to raise your level of consciousness to the extent where all you see is love and bliss.
Jesus is very popular. I think he’s reading my show regularly because he’s mentioned a lot to answer this question. Like I had told you in advance, no one ever says it for the same reason. Your reason is incredible and insightful. If I were able to set up that conversation with you, which I may be able to do, would you mind if I was a fly on the wall listening in on that?
You can sit right next to me.
To some degree, this was a man who allowed the power of love to rule his life and then used that to help others. The how is the part we don’t know. The scripture tells us what their opinion of the how is. I would easily believe that as well as anything else because I wasn’t there and I don’t know. It was a great answer. Here’s the grand finale, the change the world question. Here it comes. What is it that you were doing or would like to do that truly has the potential to change the world?
The answer is to do even more of what I’m doing already. I’ve seen what happens when you help someone transform their mindset. I use the word transform specifically, not just change. Change is like, “That was used to be bad and then it’s good.” Transform is to access a level of the mindset that allows you to see the world from a perspective of wholeness and see yourself as a vital, highly important element of that world. To me, that changes everything. It changes your relationships with yourself, your health and how you show up in your family, community and business. That, to me, is the one missing key. If I can give that to every human being on this beautiful earth, there’s nothing more that I would love to do.
Not that it was a surprise, but it was a great answer. A lot of people, when I ask that question, go back to what they’re already doing but at a higher level. That’s what you said and where you’re going. I’m glad you were aligned with that as well. Mario, it’s been a pleasure to have you as a guest, but I won’t let you go before you share the gift you promised all of our readers. Tell us a little bit about that.
It’s a gift in a gift. What I’d like to offer is when you go to my website, MarioLanzarotti.com, on the first page, you scroll down a little bit. There’s a guide to overcoming self-doubt where I go into more detail as to what I’ve shared, which will give you practical steps to help you move into a more powerful relationship with doubt so that it doesn’t control you.
On top of that, for your readers, I will also throw in a check-up call. If you read the guide, go through it and you’re like, “This makes sense, but what about this,” and you have more questions you want to dive deep into, I will also throw in a call with me. My email is on the document that you will get. You can reach out to me and we’ll schedule a time that works for you.
That’s incredibly generous. Readers, don’t do it when Mario and I are having our men’s group meetings. Other than that, it’s no problem. That would be great. That’s awesome. It’s generous of you to give your time away. Few people do that, but it’s appreciated and well worthwhile. I hope everyone takes advantage of that as well. It’s been a pleasure knowing you and working with you. Having you here on my show is the crowning gift to me that I could have gotten from you. I also want to remind people that you also have an incredible podcast. What’s the name of that show?
Readers, if you liked this topic and would like to go deeper than you were able to read in this one short segment, by all means, go over to Apple Podcasts and look up The Self Doubt Solution and check it out. I have a feeling you’re going like it a lot. Mario, it’s my pleasure being with you. I can’t wait to see you again soon.
Likewise, Mitch. Thank you so much. This was a lot of fun.
- Mario Lanzarotti
- Mindset Mastery
- Instagram – Mario Lanzarotti
- LinkedIn – Mario Lanzarotti
- Overcoming Self-Doubt
- The Self Doubt Solution
- The Self Doubt Solution – Apple Podcasts
About Mario Lanzarotti
Mario Lanzarotti, known as the Freedom Architect is a business mindset coach focused on helping women confidently reach the next level in their life by empowering them to break free from self-doubt.
From CEO’s to Olympians and mission-driven entrepreneurs, Mario helps high-achievers all across the world gain the mental clarity & focus necessary to achieve what would normally take years in 6 months or less.
Today Mario travels the world hosting his master classes that are focused on conscious leadership and next level mindsets.
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